


The sound of darkness

by See_you_in_a_minute



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, The Avengers - Ambiguous Fandom
Genre: F/M, Friendship, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-26
Updated: 2019-05-27
Packaged: 2020-03-17 15:09:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,914
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18967747
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/See_you_in_a_minute/pseuds/See_you_in_a_minute
Summary: Three years since the snap and Natasha hasn't heard from anyone in months. When reports of a suspicious gamma reading come in she can only think of one person to call. But is it help or company she is looking for?





	1. Part 1

**Author's Note:**

> I don't think I'll ever get over what happened in Endgame. So I've started writing instead.
> 
> This is set three years after the snap while Nat is looking after the compound (and the whole team). It's a two-parter and I have the other bit almost ready, but would love to hear your thoughts. I’ve never used AO3 before so please bear with me if I’m useless!
> 
> Obviously I own nothing - If I did, I'd have changed a few things (so I didn't have to cry every time I think about it!).

Most people are unaware of the sounds that lurk in the night. The scratching of an animal just outside the window or the creak of a floorboard as a pipe cools. The soft thumps and groans of a building that occur naturally while the inhabitants sleep, oblivious to the melody that comes with darkness.

But not Natasha Romanoff.

Nat was familiar with the sounds that arrived when the room darkened, her only source of light coming from the computer screen on her desk that emitted a continuous blue glow. It was rare for her to manage more than a few hours of sleep each night, which gave her plenty of time to listen.

She knew how the compound breathed.

Despite the fact that the building had well over thirty different rooms she always seemed to find herself in the same one. Each night was spent sat in front of her computer screen in the vain hope that there would be a call from one of the team with the miracle solution they had been looking for. But most nights, like this one, ended up with Natasha asleep at her desk, her legs propped up on the table and chin on her shoulder.

She only ever woke up when she got too cold and usually decided to stay awake rather then find the comforts of her own bed. She couldn’t remember if she has even pulled back her bedsheets in the last year.

Natasha blinked awake with a shiver and rubbed her eyes until her screen came into focus.

Her stomach tightened slightly as she noticed the small flashing light displayed on the control panel that indicated a new message from one of the team. She had had plenty of time to work out how to use Tony’s elaborate computer system and yet she still didn’t know why the little light made her apprehensive after all this time. She couldn’t bare the thought of it being more bad news.

Part of her still expected the message to be a video from Peter, his mischievous smile flashing up on her screen just to tell her about a new feature he’d found in his spider suit. Peter had never quite understood that when they weren’t out saving the world it didn’t mean that they just hung around the compound having fun. So whenever he got bored after school and Tony was too busy for him to annoy, he would send Nat a message.

Her favourite had been when Peter had found the web wings feature on his suit and sent her a live video of himself jumping off a roof to test them out. He had soared straight through an open window and landed on top of the resident cat, sending it darting around the apartment knocking over everything in its path. Tony had paid to repair the damages.

But Nat hadn’t seen Peter in over three years. 

Three years, two months and thirteen days since the snap, and yet she still expected to see him skip across the compound on his way to annoy Tony or confuse Thor with his latest technology.

Nat swallowed the lump in her throat and wiped her eyes with the back of her sleeve. Tony. Thor. Banner. Steve… They had all survived the snap and yet she hadn’t seen them in months. The compound used to be full of life and now there was no one. Not even Clint.

She saw more of the raccoon than anyone else.

Nat checked the time on her phone and groaned. 5:37am.

Falling asleep at her desk was starting to take its toll. There was a time she could dodge a bullet whilst simultaneously taking down a fully grown man but now she was starting to doubt her abilities. This wasn’t how she had ever expected to retire.

Which is why she refused to give up. The Avengers may have been scattered across the country (or much further, no one had heard from Thor in over a year) but she wouldn’t stop until she knew that they had exhausted every possibility of getting everyone back.

She owed it to those they had lost to keep trying.

When Tony had returned to earth, exhausted and angry, he had told them what happened when Thanos arrived for the time stone. How Steven Strange had handed it over willingly in return for Tony’s life. And yet the guilt of the agreement had left Tony broken and hurting like Nat had never seen him before.

He refused to believe there was a reason Strange had handed over the stone, but Nat didn’t. She couldn’t. She had to hold on to the belief that in handing it over he knew that the snap could somehow be reversed.

If only she could get the others to listen.

Nat stretched out her tired arms and felt an ache in her left shoulder. The old bullet wound had never really fully healed, and some days she was sure she could still feel the Soviet slug nestled under her collarbone. It was impossible, of course, but all these years later the injury from Bucky still caused her issues if she had spent too long at the shooting range.

Which is where she had spent the majority of the previous day. Before falling asleep at her desk she had spent nearly four hours firing bullet after bullet into the faceless body silhouettes that hung at the other end of the shooting range, each one finding exactly where the intended.

When she closed her eyes she was sure she could still hear the gun shots reverberating off her surroundings despite the large ear-defenders she had worn.

Four hours shooting practice (not that she needed it), three in the gym taking her frustration out on a punch bag and an extra three in the yard with one of Clint’s bows. She had propped up a hay bail as a target and took great satisfaction in painting the wrapping purple so she could watch the coating rip apart when her arrow made contact. 

Nat was exhausted and yet she refused to properly sleep.

She had worked out years ago that exhaustion played havoc with her mental state and if she stopped for too long things would only get worse. Not that she would admit that to anyone.

She checked the time again and decided on a shower. If she timed it right she could sit on the porch and watch the sun rise as her hair dried.

*-*-*

By 9am Natasha had checked all forms of communication with the team and found nothing other than an email from Rocket containing a photo of a giraffe and the caption ‘What is this?!”. She didn’t want to think about how or why he was in the vicinity of a giraffe, but sent him a wiki link as an explanation and strict instructions to leave it alone.

She had just sat down at her desk with her morning peanut butter sandwich when the light on her screen started flashing. She waved her hand and the Rhodey’s hologram appeared in front of her.

“Morning Nat,” he smiled, nodding in her directions. “How’s things?”

“Oh you know, as exciting as always.”

Rhodey paused, not quite sure how to continue, and Nat noticed.

“What’ve you got?” She asked quickly.

“Not much. There have been reports of unusual activity just over twelve miles from the compound,” he spoke quickly, glad of the distraction. “Could be nothing. Probably is nothing. But there’s something throwing off higher than expected gamma signals and we thought it best to get it checked out.”

“Thanks, Rhodey.”

“I think Okoye might be around to-”

“No, I’ll go,” Nat interrupted, trying not to make it too obvious that she was desperate to leave the compound. “Like you said, it’s probably nothing and it’s not far from here.”

“Ok,” Rhodey smiled. “But be careful and let me know if you find anything. Otherwise, status update tomorrow?”

“Sure,” Nat nodded.

Rhodey switched off his hologram and disappeared.

She stood alone again, the hum of the compound suddenly deafening. She had to get out.

She could – should – go on her own. The likelihood that the this was anything other than a false reading due to a new group of vandals was unlikely, but she was tired of being alone day after day. The same radio silence from the outside world no matter how desperately she searched for answers.

Answers to a question she was beginning to think could never be answered.

She picked up her phone and twisted it around in her hands, her eyebrows furrowed and focused.

It was a bad idea. His inevitable decision would only make her feel worse and yet there was a part of her that didn’t care.

She was used to disappointment.

She was used to being alone.

She decided to call him anyway and was surprised when he picked up on the second ring.

“Bruce, it’s Nat.”

“I know, your name comes up on my phone,” she could almost imagine the grin on his lips and found herself smiling in return.

“Oh yeah-”

There was a pause while she considered her next words. There was still time to pretend this was just a casual call to catch-up. He didn’t have to go with her. Then again, she couldn’t remember the last time she had called anyone just to chat.

Or the last time someone had called her other than their scheduled mission reports.

“So, how’s it going with the other guy?” She asked despite knowing the answer. Bruce had locked himself in his lab long ago with the sole purpose of finding a way to bring back the Hulk, convinced that he would be needed if they were to find a way to reverse the snap.

After fighting for so long to control the anger that lived inside the Hulk he now welcomed it. He craved it.

She couldn’t tell if it was desperation or naïvety that kept Bruce going but Nat knew how much he was struggling. Bringing back the Hulk was his way of coping. Just like Steve’s was helping at support groups and Clint’s – well, she didn’t want to think about what Clint had been doing. Or what her own coping mechanism had become.

“It’s going fine,” Bruce responded, the strain evident in his voice. “If by fine you mean he still refuses to make an appearance.”

“Still no green, huh?”

“Still no green.”

There was another pause and Natasha knew if she didn’t ask him now she never would.

“Listen, Bruce. You can say no, and that would be absolutely fine, but Rhodey’s just called in a suspicious gamma reading not far from here, and I was wondering if you wanted to check it out with me?”

Pause.

“I mean, I know you’re busy in the lab and it’s probably just a bunch of abandoned microwaves or something-” she continued, trying to sound as off-hand as possible.

“They wouldn’t give off a high gamma detection,” Bruce interrupted.

Nat smiled. She knew that already.

“Oh. Well, as I said, it’s probably nothing. And if you’re busy-”

“Nat, I’d love to.”

She had prepared herself for him to say no. Now she was stumped.

“Great,” she could hear the strangeness in her own voice as she tried to hide her surprise. “Meet you out front in a half hour? I’ll drive. Rhodey’s sent coordinates.”

“See you then,” Bruce hung up before she had the chance to say any more.

*-*-*

He looked different somehow as he strode across the tidy driveway towards the compound. He was thinner, tired, with a few extra grey hairs. Nat wondered if he thought the same of her.

She game him a quick hug and threw him her phone.

“You’re in charge of directions,” she smirked. She wasn’t in the mood for long reunions and lengthy conversations about how they were feeling. She wanted a day of normality, if that were even possible.

“Yeah, sure,” Bruce answered as he clumsily fumbled with her phone and followed after her towards the awaiting sports car. “Do we know what this place is?”

“Nope,” Nat called back. “This will be a surprise for both of us.”

Nat was more surprised that they managed to find the right location with Bruce’s directions. After many disagreements and a few ‘you’re a scientist, you should know your left from your right’s later, the little dot on Nat’s phone indicated that they had found the right place.

“This is it?” Bruce questioned as he looked out the window towards a derelict four story hotel. The building had clearly been abandoned for years and stripped for parts long ago. There wasn’t a single window left intact and thick cracks ran the length of one side, top to bottom.

“Apparently so,” Nat shrugged. “Come on, lets have a closer look.”

She was out of the car and walking across the overgrown grass before Bruce had even taken his belt off.

“Nat, wait,” he ran to catch up and took a hold of her arm, stopping her in her tracks. Other than their quick hug outside the compound, she couldn’t remember the last time she had felt human contact. Her heart ached slightly at the thought but she pushed it aside.

He returned her mobile and ran a hand through his scruffy hair.

“Is this a good idea?”

“Bruce, it’s an old hotel,” Nat frowned, glancing in the direction of the building. “What’s the worst that could happen?”

“We find a group of angry vigilantes inside with a floor full of powerful weapons, ready to kill anyone who gets close,” he spoke quickly before throwing in “just as an example.”

“Or,” Nat drew out the word and fixed him with a determined glare. “It’s empty. And that false reading can be scratched off as nothing to worry about.”

“Yeah,” Bruce frowned, tilting his head as he considered her words. “But since when has that ever been the case?”

Nat laughed.

“I don’t know if you’ve noticed, Bruce. But the world is a little quieter these days,” she smiled sadly and turned away again before her composure broke.

There was a tingle in her fingertips as they grew closer, as if they were searching for her gun, but she left it tucked safely in her back pocket. The hotel was silent.

Her training seemed to kick in as soon as they reached the entrance to the hotel and a sense of calm washed over her shoulders. If she treated this like any other mission then she would be fine, even if there was nothing to find.

After a sweep of the outside, Bruce following behind silently as they walked the perimeter of the building, they stopped by the front door and looked up.

“There’s no one here,” she announced but Bruce looked uncertain.

“How can you be sure?”

Nat shrugged.

“Call it a hunch. Come on, lets go in.”

“No, no, no,” Bruce moved and stood between Nat and the front door. “We’re not going in to a four story building on the verge of collapse because you have a hunch that there is no one inside.”

Nat frowned.

“Fine,” she said shortly. “You stay here then. But I’m going in.”

“Natasha, please.”

There was something about the way he spoke her name that always stopped her in her tracks. It had done for years and still frustrated her.

She took a breath and smiled as best she could.

“I’m not going back to the compound without having a look,” she told him, leaving no room for argument. “You can stay out here and keep a lookout if you want, but I’d really like it if you came in with me. If there’s anything suspicious we leave right away and call for backup.”

Bruce considered her words carefully before slowly nodding.

“Ok,” he said. “But first sign of anything odd and we’re out of there.”

“Agreed,” Nat responded and pushed open the front door before he had a chance to even think about changing his mind.

The inside was as dusty and damaged as she had expected. Every wall had been stripped of anything of value, leaving gaping holes between rooms and scattered ceiling tiles across the ripped up carpet.

But the building remained silent.

“Nat, there’s no one here. Lets go.”

“And what about the gamma reading?”

“Like you said, it’s probably nothing,” Bruce was spinning on the spot, eyeing up the potential dangers.

“Are you afraid, Bruce?”

“No!” He answered a little too quickly.

“Good,” Nat smiled. “Then let’s check the basement. If there’s one thing I’ve learnt, you never find anything suspicious on the top floor.”

She left no room for argument as she headed for the door that led to the stairs.

“I don’t think there’s much of upstairs left anyway,” Bruce was still looking up through a hole in the ceiling from which you could just make out the floor above.

As you would expect, the basement was dark and cold. Nat switched on the torch on her phone and let the dim glow illuminate the damp walls. Bruce followed suit.

The light immediately reflected off shining metal.

“I think we’ve found the source,” Nat stated as she shone the light around the room. “Look at this stuff.”

“What is all this?” Bruce asked in amazement.

“Chitauri guns. Ultron blasters. There are weapons here that I haven’t seen in years,” Nat answered as she run a hand over the cold metal handle of an assault rifle. “Where did they all come from?”

Bruce frowned.

“I don’t know, but none of this would explain-”

He stopped as his eyes fell on a pile of misshapen metal in the corner of the room.

“It that- is that a gamma cannon?” Bruce suddenly seemed intrigued as he crossed the room to examine it closer.

“I think it might be part of a gamma cannon,” Nat smirked but Bruce was already inspecting the machinery in great detail.

“These were supposed to have been destroyed over sixty years ago,” Bruce turned to Nat, his torch light falling across her face. “How did it get down here?”

“It looks like this one is pretty destroyed too, Bruce.”

“Yes, but it’s here. It exists. Mostly.”

“Would this explain the gamma readings?” Nat asked and Bruce nodded enthusiastically.

“Oh yeah, this is it,” he grinned again.

“Please don’t tell me you want to take this back to the lab,” Nat almost moaned. “That thing looks heavy.”

Bruce laughed again.

“I think someone has been collecting these,” he stated. “Look. All the weapons are lined up around the edge of the room like they’re on display in a museum. I think whoever has found all these things has been hiding them down here, as if in storage.”

“I haven’t seen some of these weapons since Sokovia,” Nat frowned. “How did they end up here.”

“A serious collector would probably transport them across the country if they wanted them that badly.”

“And left them in the basement of an old hotel with no security?” Nat asked sceptically.

“Like you said,” Bruce shrugged. “The world is a lot quieted these days. Who would go looking in here on a whim.”

Nat directed her phone around the room and suddenly noticed the sheer number of weapons that lined the walls. Firearms, cannons, tasers. Every weapon you could imagine seemed to be in the basement in one form or another.

“We need to get these out of here. If they were to fall in the wrong hands-” Bruce stated as he lay his own hand down on top of one of the weapons a little harder than intended.

A sudden light filled the room as the weapon activated, sending a flash of blue light across the room and blasting a three foot hole in the wall opposite, narrowly avoiding Natasha in the process.

“What was that you were saying about the wrong hands?” Nat laughed nervously as Bruce stood in shock.

“I didn’t think it was activated!”

Nat grinned as she opened her mouth to throw him another casual insult but stopped at the sound of a thud above their heads.

She felt her heartbeat quicken as the ground beneath her feet began to tremble and her eyes instantly glanced at the roof above their heads. They were in the basement. And if the building was unsteady before, that was nothing now that Bruce had inadvertently blasted its foundations.

Bruce steadied himself, his eyes finding hers.

‘It can’t end like this,’ Natasha thought to herself as she spotted the fear in Bruce’s eyes. Not after everything they had gone through over the years.

She cursed herself at the thought of having led them into danger just to prove to herself that she still had a purpose outside of the compound. She had put one of the greatest minds on the planet in danger, one of the only people who had half a chance of finding a way to bring everyone back, all because she had been lonely.

“Banner,” her voice was calm. Controlled. Years of training having erased all trace of uncertainty.

“Yeah?”

“Run!”

They headed for the stairs in the semi-darkness, taking two at a time until they reached the ground floor. But the entrance looked nothing like when they had arrived. The dusty hallway now resembled a war-zone, the previous hole in the ceiling now exposing thick metal beams. The partitioning wall from above had fallen straight through and blocked the exit completely.

‘Well, that explains the bang,’ Nat thought. The building was collapsing in on itself.

She could see Bruce ahead, clumsily stepping over fallen bricks and debris, the rubble crumbling at his feet. But he was moving fast and towards one of the broken windows just visible across the entranceway.

Before he paused to look back at her.

“Go!” Nat shouted, waving her arms in his direction. “Keep running!”

His eyes grew wide.

“Nat-!”

But it was too late. Nat turned in time to see the heavy steal beam break away from the ceiling above her and swing in her direction, colliding with the side of her body and knocking her hard to the ground.

She felt the hot, sticky blood instantly run down the side of her cheek, the ring in her ears deafening.

That one hurt.

‘Get up,’ she told herself, her body heavy and uncooperative as she tried to focus. ‘Get up. Get moving.’

But she couldn’t. Couldn’t focus, couldn’t move. Her breath caught in her chest as she tried to inhale, her head splitting with every movement as she listed to the building slowly collapse around her. All air had been knocked from her lungs, each gasp for breath sending an ache through her body as every cell screamed for oxygen.

“Get up!” She shouted to herself and was sure the words left her mouth.

The world was loud, crumbling, but above it all she heard his voice.

“Nat!”

‘Damn it Banner, you were supposed to keep running.’

She blinked hard, managing to focus on her surroundings. She was looking up at where there was once a ceiling and could see the floors above. All three of them.

There was another loud crash and, as if in slow motion, she watched as the building began to collapse in on itself and cascade towards her. No matter how much she tried to force herself she couldn’t make her body move as she struggled to keep her eyes open.

Rogers would be so pissed off when he found out she had taken Bruce with her, just to get him killed.

“Bruce, get out of here!” She managed to shout, her lungs aching with every word.

They were on the ground floor. Bruce still had a chance of escaping. The possibility was low but that guy never ceased to amaze her.

There was another loud bang as the floor shook and she threw her arms across her face to brace herself for the impact.

At least it would be quick.

The darkness came with a roar as the building collapsed around her.


	2. Part 2

PART TWO

There was a time, many years ago, when Natasha Romanoff truly believed that she could leave her life as a super spy behind.

It was only for a few fleeting moments, but she had let herself imagine what it would be like to no longer be the trained assassin who could knock a fully grown man to the ground with a single kick. She was known the world over as one of the Avengers and yet very few people knew the real Natasha.

And those that did had left her in one way or another over the past three years.

But there was no way she could have sat aside and watched the world fall apart without trying to help. It wasn’t in her to run away and leave the fighting behind. Bruce had offered her something that no one else had before and something she hadn’t thought she’d ever want to consider.

He had sewed the seed of possibility in her mind that had only grown the longer they has worked together and she hadn’t meant to – really hadn’t meant to – but she had started to imagine a life where she didn’t have to worry about leaving with a loaded gun in her back pocket.

It was more than he had ever dared to dream of, and that’s how it had to stay. A dream.

Because that was not her life and it never could be.

She was the Black Widow. She didn’t need anyone.

Natasha had been built differently, moulded since childhood into what she was today. And she cared about Bruce far too much to inflict that on him. He was too good, despite the other guy, for her to ruin his life.

The world needed Bruce Banner. The Avengers needed the Hulk.

Because his green would always be a hell of a lot better than the red that dripped from her ledger.

And so when Bruce had told her to stop fighting and leave it all behind, she had kissed him. It was selfish really, but she had to know what it felt like just the once. And then she had pushed him off the edge of the cliff knowing that the big guy would return in his place.

That was what they had needed. The team needed Bruce and the Hulk, and they needed them both again now.

But she had ruined it all. She had dragged him with her into a crumbling building, knowing the Hulk wasn’t around to keep him safe, just to prove a point. Just to feel alive again after being left alone in the compound for so long.

Which was ironic now.

The faint ringing in her ears grew louder until it was almost deafening and she squeezed her eyes closed tight. Her breath suddenly caught in her chest and escaped as a cough, her ribs screaming in pain as she rolled onto her side and gasped for air.

It was then that the noticed the feel of the grass beneath her fingertips and tickling the side of her face. Despite the smell of dust and dirt she could feel the warm sun on her skin.

She was alive.

“Nat?”

She felt her heartbeat quicken again at his voice and the warmth of his hand on her shoulder.

“Nat, can you hear me?”

She was alive. And so was Bruce.

Nat forced her eyes open and her gaze instantly fell on his as he knelt beside her.

“I’m sorry,” she mumbled feeling the words scratch at her throat. “I shouldn’t have-”

“No,” Bruce interrupted, helping her to sit up and grinning widely. “Don’t apologise.”

“But-” her head pounded, the pain making her feel sick as the world continued to spin.

Nat blinked. The sun was blinding over the top of the crumbled remains of where once stood the abandoned hotel. If they had still been on the ground floor when the walls folded in completely there was no way they would have survived.

“You pulled me out?” Nat frowned and felt the dry blood on the side of her face crack on her skin.

“No,” Bruce grinned again, his hand still on her shoulder. “The Big Guy did.”

“You mean-?”

“Yeah!” His head nodded vigourously. “Green!”

Nat laughed slightly, wincing as the pain shot through her head and ribs. It was only then that she noticed Bruce was missing his shirt.

“Are you ok?” He asked gently, concern etched across his features.

“I should be asking you that,” Nat frowned as she squeezed her eyes shut again in an attempt to push away the nausea. “I’m guessing you put yourself between me and the building. There was no way we were getting out of there before it came down.”

Bruce shrugged.

“The Big Guy can handle a few bricks.”

“It was three floors of concrete, Bruce.”

There was silence between them as Bruce moved to sit beside her, his fingers twisting through the grass just inches from hers. There wasn’t a scratch on him, Nat noticed. She had no idea how the Hulk had managed to pull them both out of the wreckage but she was grateful that he had. It wasn’t the first time he had saved them both.

“How did you know he was going to come back?” Nat asked finally as the air returned to her lungs.

Bruce refused to look at her as if uncomfortable at the new turn in conversation. He shrugged again.

“I didn’t.”

The silence returned and this time Natasha had no intentions of continuing. She didn’t want to talk any longer. She didn’t want to let herself believe that Bruce still felt the same way he had when he had asked her to run away together.

The silence was getting uncomfortable and Nat knew that the voices in her head were the cause.

“Why now?” She asked, just to break it. “Why did the Hulk choose now to make an appearance and not when we were face to face with Thanos? We could have used him then.”

Bruce frowned as if he didn’t want to answer before turning to her. He looked suddenly serious and Nat felt her breath catch in her throat again.

“Because of you, Nat.”

“Stop it.”

“Because he cares about you as much as I do.”

“Stop it!”

“Well, you asked,” Bruce mumbled, looking away again.

She couldn’t do this right now.

There was a time when it felt easy, talking this way with Bruce. But that was before the Hulk had disappeared in a Quinjet and ignored all her attempts at contacting him. It had been over a year before she had seen him again but by then she had grown harder.

These days Nat knew exactly where Bruce was staying. She often tracked his mobile from the compound just to check he was still safe and yet he barely moved from his lab.

He lived less than twenty minutes away and she still didn’t see him for months on end. It hurt more than when he had disappeared off the face of the earth and yet there was no way she would ever let him know.

“Come on,” Bruce spoke eventually as he stood up and held out his hand. “I’m driving this time.”

Nat rolled her eyes.

“Please be careful,” Nat groaned as she allowed herself to be pulled to her feet and steadied herself on Bruce’s arms, her surroundings tilting. “I don’t know if you can handle her.”

“Oh, I can handle her just fine,” Bruce smiled and Nat doubted he was still talking about her car.

*-*-*

The drive back to the compound was silent. Nat had closed her eyes almost instantly, both to stop her head from spinning and so she couldn’t see Bruce’s attempt at driving, and he had taken it as a sign not to speak.

She didn’t argue with his decision.

The compound felt cold when they returned and she could see Bruce hesitate at the threshold before he followed her in, as if trying to decide whether he now had to be invited. She was used to the silence, but he wasn’t.

Nat headed straight to the computer on her desk and checked for any messages from the rest of the team but again there was only one, this time from Rhodey.

‘Any leads?’

Nat pulled her handgun from her back pocket and dropped it on her desk before heading to the kitchen and pouring herself a large glass of vodka. She drank it neat, squeezing her eyes closed in response to the burning in her throat.

Bruce watched her from the doorway.

“Want one?” She held up the bottle.

He shook his head slightly.

“You need a new shirt,” she stated as she pointed to his chest, bottle still in hand. “There’s probably still some upstairs.”

Bruce looked down at his bare skin and laughed slightly.

“I’ll be right back.”

Nat watched him leave, a little part of her hoping he didn’t return. That he would walk straight out the door and back to his lab without another word.

It worried her how used to the silence she had become. How some days she welcomed it.

She sat back at her desk and poured another glass, opening Rhodey’s message and staring at the screen.

She swallowed the vodka in an attempt at numbing the pounding in her head and took a deep breath, feeling the tears sting the back of her eyes and not knowing why.

It had been over three years since her life had last been put in danger and yet she had felt more in control facing Thanos than she had today. What was so different now?

There was a soft thud from the floor above and Nat jumped, forgetting there was someone else in the compound and suddenly realising why today was bothering her so much.

She was a trained assassin. She had spent most of her life on solo missions and looking after herself. But ever since she had met the others, ever since she had become an Avenger, she had people she could rely on. Whether she knew it at the time or not.

For the first time in her life she had began to realise what having a family was really like. A dysfunctional family at that, but a family all the same. She had gone on the run with Steve for over a year. She had spent hours combat training with Thor and argued over how best to track alien life form with Tony. She had even flirted with Bruce.

It wasn’t the usual family life but it was the closest she had ever had, and she had loved it. Loved them.

And then there was Clint. The man who instead of ending her life had saved it in more ways than one. Her best friend who she had been tracking since the snap and who refused to be found. She had followed his path of destruction trying not to imagine the pain he was feeling and all the while knowing just how much it hurt.

Her hand tightened on the vodka bottle at the thought of where Clint was now and what he was doing.

Half her family had disappeared with the snap and those that remained had all but forgotten her existence.

But she was the Black Widow. She didn’t need anyone.

Bruce reappeared at the doorway again with a clean shirt and a smile.

“Hey,” Nat smiled but it didn’t reach her eyes.

She distracted herself by sending a ‘nothing to report’ reply to Rhodey and poured another glass.

“Nat, maybe that’s not-”

“Please don’t, Bruce. I’m not in the mood.”

The now familiar silence hung in the air until the flashing light appeared on Nat’s screen again. She hit accept without thinking, desperate for the distraction, and Rhodey’s hologram appeared in front of her once more.

“Rhodey,” she welcomed him with a nod. He must have been waiting for her response. “Any news?”

“No, just more of the same,” Rhodey stopped suddenly and frowned. “You’re covered in blood.”

“I’m fine.”

He raised an eyebrow.

“Yeah, of course you are,” he sighed. “It’s your blood for a change. I can tell.”

“I’m fine,” Nat emphasised, shooting him a glare.

Rhodey didn’t look convinced.

“There was nothing to worry about, just a bunch of old weapons. Looks like someone had been collecting them in the basement of a derelict hotel, including a gamma thing.”

“Gamma cannon,” Bruce interrupted, unable to help himself or hide his enthusiasm.

“Bruce?” The surprise was evident as Rhodey realised who had spoken. “What are you doing there?”

“Refusing to get drunk with me,” Nat mumbled and Bruce rolled his eyes.

“You have a head wound, you shouldn’t be touching that stuff!” He retaliated but was met with an eye roll and a quiet ‘shut up’ from Nat.

“So where are the weapons now?” Rhodey asked in an attempt to change the subject.

“Under four stories of said hotel,” Bruce answered.

“Explains the blood,” Rhodey shrugged, now seemingly happy for the cause.

Bruce nodded and sat on the edge of Nat’s desk. Rhodey smiled before frowning again.

“Is that my shirt?”

“Yeah. The Hulk destroyed mine and I think I have the rest of my stuff at the lab,” Bruce stated, watching the shock spread across Rhodey’s face.

“The Hulk? How did you get him back?”

“Nat dropped a building on me,” Bruce smirked.

“You were the one playing around with a blaster,” Nat retaliated.

“I didn’t know it was going to go off, I just touched it!”

Rhodey smirked and frowned again.

“You mean I call in a suspicious gamma reading and you both end up buried under a hotel?” He asked. “How do you two manage it?”

“It’s a skill,” Nat murmured, running her finger around the edge of her glass. “It’s not like it’s the first time it’s happened.”

Nat thought back to the underground bunker at Camp Lehigh where Zola had stalled her and Steve until Pierce had sent a missile to kill them. It had been Steve that had protected her that time. Who had pulled her from the rubble and carried her to safety. She had woke up in Steves arms and he had spent a full twenty minutes checking she was ok before they had went to find Sam.

And now? Now Steve was out running support groups and helping those that needed it the most.

But not Nat. Because Nat was the Black Widow. She didn’t need anyone.

Rhodey rolled his eyes and checked his watch.

“Look, I’ve got to go but I’ll check in again tomorrow,” he apologised. “Good to see you again, Bruce. Nat, please look after yourself.”

“Sure,” Nat looked up briefly, missing the ‘look after her’ glance Rhodey gave Bruce before he disappeared again.

It was getting late. Nat had no idea how long they had spent at the hotel, before or after it had collapsed, but the darkness was starting to return to the compound.

Bruce must have sensed the same thing.

“I should be going too,” he pointed over his shoulder. “You have to- and I-”

“You can stay if you like?” Nat asked quickly in her best attempt at sounding relaxed. “If you aren’t busy, I mean.”

“Oh,” Bruce suddenly looked awkward as he danced on the balls of his feet.

“It’s fine,” Nat waved a hand, not at all surprised. “Really, it is.”

“It’s not that I don’t want to,” Bruce tried to explain as Nat began to untie the plait in her hair, pulling apart the blood encrusted strands. “It’s just, the Hulk hasn’t made an appearance in over three years and I need to-”

“Get to the lab,” Nat smirked. “I know.”

Bruce smiled in return.

“Are you going to be ok?”

“Yeah,” Nat frowned, swallowing the lump in her throat that threatened to escape as a sob. “Yeah, I’ll be fine. Nothing a hot shower won’t fix.”

“You need anything, anything at all, you let me know. Ok? Or if you start to feel worse.”

Nat nodded with her best attempt at a smile.

“See you around, Banner.”

He turned to leave before pausing as if he had changed his mind, but then sighed and carried on.

“Bruce?”

“Yeah?” He turned quickly.

“Thanks,” she said seriously, her lip wobbling as she forced back the tears, angry at how close they were to trickling down her cheeks. “To both of you.”

“No problem.”

He walked away quickly as if he was worried that he would remain stuck if he didn’t and Nat heard the front door click closed behind him, leaving her once again alone in the empty complex.

He was gone, just like everyone else. 

And she was alone. No one around to check on her cracked ribs and split forehead. No one to make sure she felt ok despite the probable concussion. No one to share a peanut butter sandwich with as she processed how close to death she had come once again.

The darkness had all but returned and the compound had fallen silent.

“The sun’s getting real low,” Nat whispered before finishing the last of the vodka in her glass and letting the tears escape down her cheeks.

She was the Black Widow. She didn’t need anyone.

But it didn’t stop her wanting them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a muti-chapter Clintasha based fic idea (based after Endgame) but don't know whether it's something people would actually want to read?! It would have all other characters too but not based on what happened in Endgame (obviously!). My idea of how I wanted it to end...
> 
> Anyway, hope you enjoyed part 2 and I'd love to hear what you thought. Anyone else just want to give Nat a hug!?


End file.
